實例指導1――學生如何飲食

　　【寫作任務】

　　如今隨著人們生活水平的提高，市場上高脂肪、高熱量、高蛋白的食品也越來越多；據一份調查表明學校中有五分之二的中學生屬于胖子行列。從健康和美學的角度來講，他們都希望能夠減肥。

　　原因：

　　偏食挑食；不吃早餐；飲食過度；高熱量食品

　　措施：

　　多吃蔬采、水果 ；飲食要規律

　　個人看法：飲食要平衡、合理……

　　請你結合生活實際就如何合理飲食發表自己的看法，寫一篇120－150詞的英語短文。

　　【教師點評】

　　本文緊扣主題, 結構分明，分段描述了不良的飲食習慣及其壞處，最后還表達了自己的觀點。語言地道得體，詞語和句型使用較規范，例如—些高級詞；In terms of

　　, rather than , be particular about , do harm to , as far as I I'm concerned 等的應用，而且還注意到了過渡詞匯的運用：however，and still , therefore，what’ s more等；在第二段的描述中避免了一味地運用first，second，third等，而是采用了some …some…others以及and still來清晰條理地寫出了各種不良的飲食習慣。另外還使用了靈活句式：Therefore，we should have a balanced diet including vegetables and fruits，which is good for our health．這是一個句意充實，結構復雜的句子，其中包含一個現在分詞短語作定語和一個非限制性定語從句，Only in this way can we keep fit and have enough energy to devote ourselves to study. ed，we should develop to study. 這是一個only +狀語放在句首，句子要部分倒裝的語法點。

　　文章的不足之處在于：開頭段落就出現了兩處明顯的語法錯誤①①there are more and more 實例指導2—飲食與健康

　　【寫作任務】

　　請根據以下要點寫一篇120詞左右的說明文，可適當擴展。

　　1．現象：隨著生活水平的提高，越來越多的人逐漸意識到了飲食與健康之間的聯系。他們的飲食合有豐富的蛋白質、維生素等。然而，還有很多人仍然沒有意識到健康飲食的重要性。他們的飲食不科學，常吃一些含熱量和脂肪過高的食品。

　　2．結果：由于這種不健康的飲食習慣，一些人開始發胖，癌癥、心臟病這類疾病的發病率也與日俱增。

　　3．建議：人們應健康飲食，多吃蔬菜和水果，少吃肉，多做運動。

　　【寫作指導】

　　這是一篇文字提示性作文，要求寫一篇飲食與健康關系的短文。寫作時切忌受中文提綱的制約，將書面表達變成翻譯，造成語法結構和詞匯上的單調。為避免遺漏要點，可先根據提示列出一些主要的詞【學生習作】

　　With the improvement of people' s life, more and more people have realized the link between food and health, and they eat food which contains rich protein, vitamins and so on.

　　However, many people haven't known the importance of a healthy diet. They don't eat healthy food. They often eat food having too much fat and calories. As a result, many of them are becoming fat, and illnesses, such as cancer, heart disease are increasing.

　　Therefore, it is important for us to realize the importance of eating the fight kinds of food. We should eat healthily. We should have more vegetables, more fruits and less meat. Moreover, we should also take enough exercise so that we. can keep fit.

　　【教師點評】

　　1．總體評價：

　　作者能緊扣主題，從有些人不正確的飲食現象出發，寫到這種做法對健康造成的影響，最后提出建議，環環緊扣。全文用詞地道，行文漉暢，同時一些復雜結構的使用也表現出作者較強的駕馭語言的能力。

　　2．錯誤更正：

　　①realized應改為have realized表示人們“已經意識到”。

　　②去掉也there are

　　③吃的東西應是“食物”而不是“飲食”，所以這兒diet應改為food。

　　④exercise在作‘‘鍛煉”講時，是不可數名詞，所以應把exercises改為exercises。

　　實例指導3—睡眠不足

　　【寫作任務】

　　根據下表反映的內容，寫一篇150詞左右的短文，向同學們發起倡議，確保睡眠充足，遠離睡眠不足可能帶來的危害。

　　要點序號 關鍵單詞和短語

　　① the average sleep time，kids aged 7 to 9, teen-agers, below the standard.

　　② two thirds, have the habit of, noon break, have no time to do.

　　③ two reasons, account for.

　　④ the main cause, due to, the early high-school start time

　　⑤ stay up late, undoubtedly lead to, insufficient sleep.

　　⑥ lack of sufficient sleep, put adolescents at risk, difficulties in school, including sleepiness, poor concentration.

　　⑦ have negative effects on, body development.

　　⑧ take measures, push back.

　　⑨ form a good habit of, go to bed early

　　⑩ make sure, sufficient sleep

　　第四步 恰當使用句型，連詞成句。

　　在連詞成句時要盡量做到： 套用常用句型和句式多變。一篇文章在表達準確的前提下，應做到單句、并列句、復合句恰當安排，長短句有機結合，非謂語動詞及介詞短語恰當使用，增加文章的生動性，為文章增加亮點。同時，一定要避免些常規句法錯誤的出現，如：無主語或無謂語動詞，時態、語態錯誤，濫用逗號等。將上述提煉出來的關鍵單詞和短語連詞成句為：

　　①The average sleep time of kids aged 7 to 9 and teen-agers is below the standard.

　　②Two thirds don’t have the habit of noon break or they have no time to do that at all..

　　③ There are at least two reasons accounting for the problem.

　　④The main cause is due to the early high-school start time;

　　⑤Some of us like staying up late, which undoubtedly leads to insufficient sleep.

　　⑥There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration;

　　⑦This would have negative effects on their body development and health.

　　⑧The government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times.

　　As is shown by the figure in the survey, the average sleep time of kids aged 7 to 9 and teen-agers is below the standard. To make things worse, two thirds don’t have the habit of noon break or they have no time to do that at all. These worry us a lot.

　　There are at least two reasons accounting for the problem. The main cause is due to the early high-school start time. Besides, some of us like staying up late, which undoubtedly leads to insufficient sleep.

　　There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration. In addition, this would have negative effects on their body development and health.

　　Fortunately, the government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times. As for us teenagers, it is important to form a good habit of going to bed early. Let’s make sure that we all have sufficient sleep.

　　5. But it is generally believed that…

　　6. It is impossible to …

　　7. There is no doubt that…

　　8. Recent research has also revealed an association between sleep deprivation and poorer grades.

　　9. Compared with students whose schools maintained earlier start times, students with later starts reported getting more sleep on school nights, being less sleepy during the day, …

　　10. …percent of high school students routinely sleep less than 6.5 hours on school nights, and ...

　　11. In conclusion, I think that…

　　12. I’m greatly convinced/assured that…

　　13. On the whole , it is high time that every one ....

　　14. We, therefore, can make clear from the above discussion that …

　　實例指導4—Keep a Happy Heart

　　由于面臨著學業和考試的沉重壓力,不少中學生出現了心理負擔過重、身體處于亞健康狀態的情況,而這對他們的學習和生活來說意味著一種惡性循環。針對這些情況,學校開展了"Keep a Happy Heart"的宣傳活動。你班同學在英語課上也就此開展了如何輕松應對學習生活的討論,現在請你談談自己的看法。詞數:120左右。

　　建議。

　　初稿:With the increasing competition, students like us are facing more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study habits. ???? In my opinion it is urgent to find a good way for us to relax and to maintain an optimistic lifestyle. First, we can turn to sports. When I feel depressed I often do some running, which can keep me energetic and strengthen my will. Secondly, getting a good friend to talk. Find someone to listen to you. Open your heart and accept some advice, which can help you out of the trouble. Thirdly, we can make a good arrangement to our study. I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order. ????Just like a saying goes, "Tomorrow is a new day", try to find the best way to develop an optimistic lifestyle.

　　1. 這篇習作的內容充實,較為全面地論述了寫作任務中所要求的要點；篇章布局較為合理,作者在論述的過程中思路較為清晰,注意到了連接詞的運用,行文較為流暢自然。

　　2. 文章存在的主要問題:

　　①文章整體結構上不夠連貫暢通,段與段之間缺乏必要的過渡句。例如第一段最后應加上一句話來承上啟下。

　　②文中有些句子指代不明,讀來讓人感覺有些突兀。如第二段中"I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order."這句話的意思就不夠明確。

　　③文中還有些地方出現了時態不一致、主謂不一致的問題。如第一段中"Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study."這句話中,同時并列使用了"cannot"和"became", "became"應改為"become",而"lead"應改為"leads"。

　　成稿:

　　With the increasing competition, young students today are under more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed, which can lead to a low efficiency in studying. Then, what should we do to stay happy and to study more

　　efficiently? ????In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and our studies. Here are some suggestions of how to do this. First, I think we should do more sports. When I feel depressed, I often go running, which can keep me feeling energetic and help put me in a good mood. Secondly, I think we can turn to our friends, who may help us out of our trouble. Thirdly, we should make a good schedule for studying and relaxing. This will help us know exactly when to study and when to relax. ????In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.

　　實例指導5—吸煙與健康

　　【寫作任務】

　　請根據以下提示，以smoking is bad for your health 為題寫一篇字左右的文章；

　　1．吸煙有害健康：煙草中最少含有兩種有害物質――焦油(tar)和尼古丁。它們損害常，影響呼吸。

　　2.吸煙能引起許多疾病：那些經常吸煙的人牙齒不好；許多煙民也因吸煙而常常咳嗽；吸煙引起的最嚴重的痰病之一是肺癌，許多人被這種可怕的痰病奪去了生命，

　　3．吸煙不僅有害煙民的健康，也毒害著不吸煙的人，尤其是婦女兒童。

　　4．勸告人們不要吸煙；

　　【寫作指導】

　　由于吸煙的危害現在是一個熱門話題，無論成年人還是青少年都有著大量的煙民，因此要想寫好這方面的題目，要注意以下幾點：

　　1. 吸煙的危害，這個可以用你了解到的知識，只有寫好危害才能對你的觀點進行有力的支持。

　　Smoking is bad for your health

　　We all know that smoking is bad for health. This is because a cigarette includes at least two harmful substances -- tar and nicotine, which will damage the lung and affect breathing. What' s more, smoking causes many illnesses. Those who often smoke have bad teeth. A lot of people always cough because of smoking. One of the most serious illnesses that caused by smoking is lung cancer. And many people die of this terrible disease. In addition, smoking is not only bad for smokers, but also bad for non-smokers, specially(~) women and children.

　　Smoking is no good for health. Therefore, for the health of yourselves and also the people around you, please keep away from smoking.

　　③specially改為especially。“尤其特別”一般要用especially表示，而specially意為“專門地；特意”。

　　4．錦上添花：·

　　．

　　①what's more改為what’s worse更符合主題。

　　②結尾段開頭可以加上總結性的詞匯(組)， 如：in a word；in conclusion。

　　【貴在總結】

　　通過以上分析我們可以得出以下寫作策略和常用詞匯及句型。

　　1.開門見山直入主題。常用句型有：Everyone knows ...; It is known to all / everyone that ..4 We all know that .../

　　As we all know; Almost everyone know the fact that...

　　2．根據提示詳細描述。描述時注意先后順序，井注意使用恰當的過渡詞使全文通順、流暢。盡量多使用一些高級，詞匯或結構較復雜的句于；以增加文章的亮點或采分點，避免全篇句式過于單一。常用詞匯和句型有： not only... also ...; as well as; be bad for; do harm to; cause; lead to; result in; therefore , moreover; nevertheless 等等。

　　3．提出建議或總結全文。常用句型和詞匯有：Therefore, ... should give up /

　　stop ...; keep away from 等等。

　　實戰演練

　　據估計，在中國吸煙者約占總人口的一半，而且煙民的年齡越來越年輕，甚至一些中學生也在抽煙。請你就此看看你的看法。

　　Smoking?Is?Harmful

　　It has been estimated that smokers have made up half of the population in China. And the smokers are becoming younger and younger,? even including some middle school students. ????? Nowadays more and more people have realized smoking can do harm to people's health. However, some people still enjoy smoking. Why? Because some of them think it is a kind of fashion, some think it is of great fun and others, think that smoking can refresh themselves. ????? In fact,? smoking is a bad habit. It can cause a lot of diseases. Meanwhile smoking is a waste of money. Besides, careless smokers may cause dangerous fires. ????? Smoking is harmful and it is not only bad for smokers themselves, but also bad for non-smokers. ????? Therefore, I hope all the smokers can give up smoking for themselves and also for the people around them.

　　?

　　眾所周知,健康的生活方式會讓人終生受益,現在請你寫一篇短文來談談如何養成良好的生活習慣和健康的生活方式,發表在班級墻報上與同學們共享。詞數:120左右。

　　1．沒有充分的休息和體育活動，不可能保持身體健康。

　　2．學生學習之余，可以從事各種各樣的娛樂(recreation)活動。許多人喜歡聽音樂，看電視。但因為我們在室內呆的時間太長，用眼太多，最好能選擇一些能加強肌肉運動的活動，如打籃球，踢足球，打乒乓球、游泳、跑步等。

　　3．大腦的活動需要經常調劑才能保持靈敏，活躍。

　　題目已經給出。字數：120左右。

　　On Recreation

　　It is impossible for us to keep fit unless we often take part in activities of recreation．

　　There are various kinds of games in our daily life after study．For example，listening to music，watching TV，playing chess，going to the cinema．But I think we’d better have more outdoor activities to supply our muscles with exercise because we usually sit too long in our classroom，and our eyes and brain get tired．So it’s a good idea to play basketball，football，table tennis，go swimming and do some running，even go for a picnic．

　　Our brain also needs changes to make it smart and active，Remember the old saying：“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy．

　　努力學習必須以好的身體做保證,如果只顧學習而不注意鍛煉和休息,就不能全身心投入到學習中來。請以Work and Health為題,根據你自己的經歷或者經驗,寫一篇短文,談談你的看法,投給學校英文校報。(詞數110左右)?

　　Work and Health

　　?

　　How to Live a Healthy Life

　　According to a recent survey, more than 70 percent of the working people are considered to be "sub-healthy", which means they can get sick very easily.

　　In my opinion, this is because they’re not leading a healthy life. How can we lead a healthy life? Firstly we should mind our diet by avoiding too many sweets and food that contains a lot of fat. Instead, we should eat more fruits and vegetables, which are good for our health. Secondly, we should exercise every day no matter how busy we are. Only by exercising can we build up a strong body. Lastly, we should try to be happy every day and forget our troubles. Healthy people are usually happy. So enjoy your life every day!