2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十六）
2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十六）
去年寒假我同父親去鄉下看望奶奶，我多年未回家鄉，看到那兒發生了很大的變化。這次故鄉之行使我學到了不少東西。我打算今后每兩年回去一次。學生習作·外教批改
During my last winter holiday，I went to the1countryside with my father to visit mygrandma with_my_father.2
I found a_large_change great changes there.The first time I came_back3 returned，theyare_live4 were all living in dirty homes with dogs and ducks and any5 otheanimals.Now，6 But last winter when I returned, they had a_big_house_to_birth_chickens.7 They also have8 had some poles
in_which_it_has9_some_fish fishponds.Every year，they sell it_and_have the fish for a lot of money.
A lot of villagers in my grandma’s village have10 had two-storeyed
houses，evidencing that their life11 lives becoming better_and_better12 had improved.I felt very happy.
During my trip，I found they_are13 all the villagers friendly and hard-working.I think these characteristics are worth of learning.
At the end of my trip，I told my father that I had_planned14 that_I_would_come_back planned to return every two years.He admitted15 agreed that it was a good idea.
,
旁 批
1．country或countryside前要加定冠詞the。
2．注意詞序。要保證你的句子不會產生歧義。原句的意思是你拜訪與你父親住在一起的祖母。
3．如果用come，就表示作者寫此文時仍在家鄉。
4．原句中的they are live是一個常見的錯誤，不符合英語的語法。這里應該用過去進行時態。
5．你不是在說明數量，所以不必用any。
6．不是現在(now)，是去年冬天(last winter)。
7．這句的意思很不清楚，所以無法進行修改。“他們有一幢大的房子養雞”還是“他們造了一間很大的雞舍讓雞住”？
8．注意保持時態一致！
9．這不是英語，是按中文字面翻譯的。參見改寫后的句子。
10．雖然這個情況可能現在仍是真實的，但故事發生在去年冬天，所以要用過去時態。
11．你談到的是村民們，而不只是一個人，所以life需要用復數形式。
12．使用更直接的語言。improve比better and better更好。高中水平還使用better and better這個詞組不合適。
13．改寫后使賓語更清楚。動詞find的結構是：find someone＋形容詞。
14．如果用過去完成時態(had planned)就意味著作者不再打算這樣做了。這里的打算發生在告訴父親的同時，所以只要用一般過去時態即可。
15．在這里用admit不正確。它的意思是不情愿地同意某事是真實的。參見改寫后的句子。雖然文章組織得當，題目要求也都在內容中體現出來，但詞匯量不足以及時態的混淆降低了作文的等級。
為避免這些錯誤，寫你知道的東西。如果你不知道表達某種觀點的詞匯，就不要提到它。想想其他可寫的東西。例如在這篇作文中，作者不應該提到池塘和雞舍，因為他/她不清楚這些詞的英文表達。他應該挑自己熟悉的東西寫，或者寫一些更平常的東西。
高分作文秘訣之九：使用恰當的過渡語。例如：
表示轉折關系的過渡語：however，nevertheless，on the other hand，on the contrary，conversely表示遞進關系的過渡語：in addition，besides，moreover，furthermore，what’s more，what’s worse，to make matters worse，the most important of all，worst of all，especially，in particular，on top of that
表示結果關系的過渡語：therefore，thus，consequently，as a result，that’s why...
表示順序關系的過渡語：firstly，secondly，thirdly，lastly/finally/eventually，last but not least，to begin with，after that，meanwhile
表示總結的過渡語：in conclusion，in brief，in short，in a word，on the whole，to sum up
表示個人觀點的過渡語：in my opinion，as far as I’m concerned，personally，as for me，to be frank
表示他人觀點的過渡語：It is widely accepted that...；A commonly held idea is that...；It is taken for granted that...最近，你和父母回到家鄉。你看到了家鄉新建的一所學校，發現它與影集中父親的母校的照片有很大的差別。請你根據下面的一組圖畫，描述這兩所學校的不同情況，并談談你的感想。
注意：
1．詞數120左右；
2．可以適當增加細節，以使行文連貫。
參考范文：
The two pictures show how greatly my father’s hometown has changed in the past twenty years.
In the past，my father’s school was a big yard with a row of old houses.There was a flag pole standing alone in the yard.Several trees were planted around the houses.There was little sports equipment in it.The new school in my father’s hometown consists of a tall building and a large playground.All kinds of sports facilities can be seen on the playground.With trees and flowers in the school yard，it looks like a big garden.
It is clear that the living conditions in our country have changed greatly and so has children’s learning environment.
2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十六）
去年寒假我同父親去鄉下看望奶奶，我多年未回家鄉，看到那兒發生了很大的變化。這次故鄉之行使我學到了不少東西。我打算今后每兩年回去一次。學生習作·外教批改
During my last winter holiday，I went to the1countryside with my father to visit mygrandma with_my_father.2
I found a_large_change great changes there.The first time I came_back3 returned，theyare_live4 were all living in dirty homes with dogs and ducks and any5 otheanimals.Now，6 But last winter when I returned, they had a_big_house_to_birth_chickens.7 They also have8 had some poles
in_which_it_has9_some_fish fishponds.Every year，they sell it_and_have the fish for a lot of money.
A lot of villagers in my grandma’s village have10 had two-storeyed
houses，evidencing that their life11 lives becoming better_and_better12 had improved.I felt very happy.
During my trip，I found they_are13 all the villagers friendly and hard-working.I think these characteristics are worth of learning.
At the end of my trip，I told my father that I had_planned14 that_I_would_come_back planned to return every two years.He admitted15 agreed that it was a good idea.
,
旁 批
1．country或countryside前要加定冠詞the。
2．注意詞序。要保證你的句子不會產生歧義。原句的意思是你拜訪與你父親住在一起的祖母。
3．如果用come，就表示作者寫此文時仍在家鄉。
4．原句中的they are live是一個常見的錯誤，不符合英語的語法。這里應該用過去進行時態。
5．你不是在說明數量，所以不必用any。
6．不是現在(now)，是去年冬天(last winter)。
7．這句的意思很不清楚，所以無法進行修改。“他們有一幢大的房子養雞”還是“他們造了一間很大的雞舍讓雞住”？
8．注意保持時態一致！
9．這不是英語，是按中文字面翻譯的。參見改寫后的句子。
10．雖然這個情況可能現在仍是真實的，但故事發生在去年冬天，所以要用過去時態。
11．你談到的是村民們，而不只是一個人，所以life需要用復數形式。
12．使用更直接的語言。improve比better and better更好。高中水平還使用better and better這個詞組不合適。
13．改寫后使賓語更清楚。動詞find的結構是：find someone＋形容詞。
14．如果用過去完成時態(had planned)就意味著作者不再打算這樣做了。這里的打算發生在告訴父親的同時，所以只要用一般過去時態即可。
15．在這里用admit不正確。它的意思是不情愿地同意某事是真實的。參見改寫后的句子。雖然文章組織得當，題目要求也都在內容中體現出來，但詞匯量不足以及時態的混淆降低了作文的等級。
為避免這些錯誤，寫你知道的東西。如果你不知道表達某種觀點的詞匯，就不要提到它。想想其他可寫的東西。例如在這篇作文中，作者不應該提到池塘和雞舍，因為他/她不清楚這些詞的英文表達。他應該挑自己熟悉的東西寫，或者寫一些更平常的東西。
高分作文秘訣之九：使用恰當的過渡語。例如：
表示轉折關系的過渡語：however，nevertheless，on the other hand，on the contrary，conversely表示遞進關系的過渡語：in addition，besides，moreover，furthermore，what’s more，what’s worse，to make matters worse，the most important of all，worst of all，especially，in particular，on top of that
表示結果關系的過渡語：therefore，thus，consequently，as a result，that’s why...
表示順序關系的過渡語：firstly，secondly，thirdly，lastly/finally/eventually，last but not least，to begin with，after that，meanwhile
表示總結的過渡語：in conclusion，in brief，in short，in a word，on the whole，to sum up
表示個人觀點的過渡語：in my opinion，as far as I’m concerned，personally，as for me，to be frank
表示他人觀點的過渡語：It is widely accepted that...；A commonly held idea is that...；It is taken for granted that...最近，你和父母回到家鄉。你看到了家鄉新建的一所學校，發現它與影集中父親的母校的照片有很大的差別。請你根據下面的一組圖畫，描述這兩所學校的不同情況，并談談你的感想。
注意：
1．詞數120左右；
2．可以適當增加細節，以使行文連貫。
參考范文：
The two pictures show how greatly my father’s hometown has changed in the past twenty years.
In the past，my father’s school was a big yard with a row of old houses.There was a flag pole standing alone in the yard.Several trees were planted around the houses.There was little sports equipment in it.The new school in my father’s hometown consists of a tall building and a large playground.All kinds of sports facilities can be seen on the playground.With trees and flowers in the school yard，it looks like a big garden.
It is clear that the living conditions in our country have changed greatly and so has children’s learning environment.
