雅思作文7分并非可望而不可及
現在的年輕人總是會發出理想很豐滿，現實很骨感這樣的感嘆，來表達對現實生活的無奈。而在雅思寫作考試中，考生們又何嘗不會經歷這種無奈呢?寫作7分是許多考生夢寐以求的分數，但即使是一些外籍教師所撰寫的范文，在考官筆下也不過是7-8分!對于國內大多數雅思考生而言，7分似乎是可望而不可及的。那么，究竟怎樣的文章，才能得到考官的青睞，最終幸運的得到7分的分數呢?
一.Task response
1. 具體要求
Task response表示任務的完成。在官方給出的評分標準中，7分有這樣的要求：
1. Address all parts of the task,
2. Present a clear position throughout the response,
3. Present, extend and support main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus。
?、?回答了題目要求的所有問題。②整篇文章觀點鮮明。③詳細的解釋和論證了觀點。
2. 范例評析
劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。
Discuss both views and give your own opinion。
1. 考生需要對題目中的兩個相反的觀點進行分析，不能只分析自己傾向的觀點。即：固定不變的定罪制度有何作用;依據犯罪動機和環境靈活的定罪制度有何作用。
2. 考生需要非常清楚的表明自己的觀點，即回答應當如何對罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。
3. 考生對于題目中兩個相反觀點的分析需要擺出充足的論據，提出自己的理由并通過例子來證明。
7.5分考生范文選段：對固定不變的定罪制度的分析
On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. ‖Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. ‖This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. ‖If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts。
1. 觀點：固定的懲罰制度對社會有威懾力。
2. 理由：考慮犯罪成本
3. 擴展結果：有利于社會穩定
4. 理由：如果沒有固定的定罪制度，會使犯罪分子更猖狂。
5. 擴展結果：犯罪分子逍遙法外，不利于司法公正。
3. 對策
?、?復習真題，找生詞
在考題中，經常出現核心詞匯的重復，比如：distance learning, criminal等。建議考生們可以在復習寫作時，先把近兩年的寫作題目過一遍，查查生詞。這樣做可以大大降低考生在作文題中遭遇生詞的尷尬，提高審題的準確性。
?、谡莆詹煌}型大作文的寫作重點
觀點類：可以支持、反對、中立，一定要表達自己的觀點。論據要充分，舉例不可或缺。
分析解決類：所問即所答，重點分析原因，解決方法多角度。
?、郯舜笤掝}，重點突破
在考題中，教育，科技，環保，全球化，政府，媒體，工作，社會生活為?？嫉陌舜笤掝}。復習重點有以下幾方面：1. 每個話題的核心詞匯要爛熟于心。2. 每個話題要積累至少兩個可以作舉例論證的實例。3. 每個話題至少選擇兩道題目做brainstorming思路拓展練習。4. 每個話題要至少積累兩篇范文。5. 每個考生對自己不熟悉的話題，要加強以上練習。
二. Coherence and cohesion
1. 具體要求
Coherence and cohesion表示連貫統一。在官方給出的評分標準中，7分有這樣的要求：
1. Logically organizes information and ideas; there is a clear progression throughout
2. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under/over-use
3. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
①文章結構富有邏輯性。②正確使用多種銜接方法。③每段話的中心思想明確。
2. 范例評析
劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。
Discuss both views and give your own opinion。
7.5分考生范文選段：考生回答應當如何對罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。
In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thieves stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment。
1. 中心思想：對于犯罪分子的定罪應該有折中的方法，這才是保證公平公正的方法。
2. 段落結構一分為二：
?、俟潭ㄏ聛矶ㄗ锏牡拙€和上線，舉例競爭法。
②定罪要有免罪的特殊處理。舉例饑荒時偷食物的行為和正當防衛。
3. 銜接的處理：文中加粗的部分。
3. 對策
?、俅~
代詞包括人稱代詞，物主代詞和一些特定的詞語。代詞的使用能夠提高表達的統一性。
?、谕x詞，反義詞等意義相互關聯的詞
恰當使用一些相關或相同概念的詞，能夠達到整篇文章自然擴展的效果。
③連接詞
連接詞是實現段落內部表達連貫的最主要的手段。它能夠增進句與句，或者段與段之間的邏輯關系。
現在的年輕人總是會發出理想很豐滿，現實很骨感這樣的感嘆，來表達對現實生活的無奈。而在雅思寫作考試中，考生們又何嘗不會經歷這種無奈呢?寫作7分是許多考生夢寐以求的分數，但即使是一些外籍教師所撰寫的范文，在考官筆下也不過是7-8分!對于國內大多數雅思考生而言，7分似乎是可望而不可及的。那么，究竟怎樣的文章，才能得到考官的青睞，最終幸運的得到7分的分數呢?
一.Task response
1. 具體要求
Task response表示任務的完成。在官方給出的評分標準中，7分有這樣的要求：
1. Address all parts of the task,
2. Present a clear position throughout the response,
3. Present, extend and support main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus。
?、?回答了題目要求的所有問題。②整篇文章觀點鮮明。③詳細的解釋和論證了觀點。
2. 范例評析
劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。
Discuss both views and give your own opinion。
1. 考生需要對題目中的兩個相反的觀點進行分析，不能只分析自己傾向的觀點。即：固定不變的定罪制度有何作用;依據犯罪動機和環境靈活的定罪制度有何作用。
2. 考生需要非常清楚的表明自己的觀點，即回答應當如何對罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。
3. 考生對于題目中兩個相反觀點的分析需要擺出充足的論據，提出自己的理由并通過例子來證明。
7.5分考生范文選段：對固定不變的定罪制度的分析
On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. ‖Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. ‖This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. ‖If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts。
1. 觀點：固定的懲罰制度對社會有威懾力。
2. 理由：考慮犯罪成本
3. 擴展結果：有利于社會穩定
4. 理由：如果沒有固定的定罪制度，會使犯罪分子更猖狂。
5. 擴展結果：犯罪分子逍遙法外，不利于司法公正。
3. 對策
?、?復習真題，找生詞
在考題中，經常出現核心詞匯的重復，比如：distance learning, criminal等。建議考生們可以在復習寫作時，先把近兩年的寫作題目過一遍，查查生詞。這樣做可以大大降低考生在作文題中遭遇生詞的尷尬，提高審題的準確性。
?、谡莆詹煌}型大作文的寫作重點
觀點類：可以支持、反對、中立，一定要表達自己的觀點。論據要充分，舉例不可或缺。
分析解決類：所問即所答，重點分析原因，解決方法多角度。
③八大話題，重點突破
在考題中，教育，科技，環保，全球化，政府，媒體，工作，社會生活為?？嫉陌舜笤掝}。復習重點有以下幾方面：1. 每個話題的核心詞匯要爛熟于心。2. 每個話題要積累至少兩個可以作舉例論證的實例。3. 每個話題至少選擇兩道題目做brainstorming思路拓展練習。4. 每個話題要至少積累兩篇范文。5. 每個考生對自己不熟悉的話題，要加強以上練習。
二. Coherence and cohesion
1. 具體要求
Coherence and cohesion表示連貫統一。在官方給出的評分標準中，7分有這樣的要求：
1. Logically organizes information and ideas; there is a clear progression throughout
2. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under/over-use
3. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
?、傥恼陆Y構富有邏輯性。②正確使用多種銜接方法。③每段話的中心思想明確。
2. 范例評析
劍橋雅思全真試題7 Test2 Task2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。
Discuss both views and give your own opinion。
7.5分考生范文選段：考生回答應當如何對罪犯的犯罪行為定罪。
In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thieves stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment。
1. 中心思想：對于犯罪分子的定罪應該有折中的方法，這才是保證公平公正的方法。
2. 段落結構一分為二：
?、俟潭ㄏ聛矶ㄗ锏牡拙€和上線，舉例競爭法。
?、诙ㄗ镆忻庾锏奶厥馓幚怼Ｅe例饑荒時偷食物的行為和正當防衛。
3. 銜接的處理：文中加粗的部分。
3. 對策
①代詞
代詞包括人稱代詞，物主代詞和一些特定的詞語。代詞的使用能夠提高表達的統一性。
②同義詞，反義詞等意義相互關聯的詞
恰當使用一些相關或相同概念的詞，能夠達到整篇文章自然擴展的效果。
?、圻B接詞
連接詞是實現段落內部表達連貫的最主要的手段。它能夠增進句與句，或者段與段之間的邏輯關系。
